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They. They say that you are too this. And too that. And need to be more accommodating. No one challenges your big dreams in other areas. No one says you’re too selective, dream too big, heights are too high, be more accommodating. Choose a school you really don’t like. Make friends with people you really don’t like. Go to places you really don’t like. Eat food you really don’t like. Buy clothes you really don’t like. But when it comes to love – why then, are they proposing that you lower your standards, be open when you really don’t like…., you aren’t feeling the connection, you don’t feel like yourself. Why do we have different standards for love than we do in every other area of life? Why is it that we support their dreams, weight loss goals, desire for a new house, desire for a new wardrobe, desire for a new car, desire for that new promotion, but on love we believe it’s not possible, it’s too hard to get exactly what you want, exactly what you desire, exactly what you pray for?! Why is it that the love struggle doesn’t have the same expectations? Why is it that someone who strives so hard in every other area in their life is seemingly highly regarded and respected. Why is it that they are challenged and despite hardships, they never give up their desires for love. Love should command the same level of expectation, standards.
Why is there a double standard for love? Why do we even listen to they? They don’t believe in miracles so they don’t understand your dreams. Even in the hardest, toughest moments…never listen to they. Never fall for making accommodations to your desires and your prayers because they say it’s not possible. That you’re too this and too that. They don’t get it. And even when you have no more rope to hang on to, never listen to they. They will have you missing out on your destiny. They will have you questioning what you didn’t know for sure would happen but deep down in your soul knew was possible. They will challenge you to accept the surface. They will never understand your quest for depth. When you express your frustration, they will blame you. You’re not accommodating or open or receptive. They will always think it’s you, never God not delivering yet. They will give themselves power. When they don’t know, they create answers. When you don’t know, you stop and get frustrated but you don’t move or make up answers and you don’t make a decision. When they get frustrated, they move. You, well, you remain still. They don’t understand your stillness. Through chaos and all, you remain still. They speed up. Running toward fear. You, on the other hand sit right in the middle of the chaos and feel the pain and still remain still. You don’t move, you don’t chase, you don’t make a decision. You remain still. Never make a decision that you wouldn’t make in any other area of your life. Never create a plan out of fear. Never accept a decision that comes from they and not you. Never let they win. They can have good insight. They may even help you process your spiraling thoughts. They, on certain days and at certain hours, can be the overt saving grace you need to smile. They are useful and can give you perspective, but NOT at the expense of your pure thought and pure prayer. There is no guiding light brighter than God. There is no one that can take away a yearning and prayer that you deliver to the almighty. We should never have to water down our prayers to God. He wants us to pray big and large. He wants us to dream big.
So if they encourage you to make accommodations in ways that don’t match the magnificence of God’s grace, they are stifling your walk in faith. If they are the right they, they won’t blame you, the process, God or circumstances – they will patiently wait alongside you, giving you companionship and provide a comforting battle field in which you fight your own internal battles. They won’t try to solve your problems. They won’t ask you to move or run. They won’t show you short cuts and encourage you to leap. They will sit with you and hear you. They will inherit some of your pain in waiting and they will, simply wait. With you. They won’t give you the perfect words. They won’t turn your story into theirs. They won’t find the fault in your process and create a narrative that is false. They will know and understand that even in your time of need, you won’t rush or bend or move. You will stand. In His word that He will deliver.